Normalizing and Responding to Sadness
Sadness is as normal an emotion as happiness. Yet it is often looked upon as unacceptable or something that should be hidden or ignored. A person who is sad may tell others they feel fine when they in fact do not. When honest about their emotions, the response they receive may include a list of reasons why they should feel anything other than sadness. What about all of the reasons why the experienced sadness is valid? Do they not exist? In a world full of as much trauma as joy, they most certainly do. Should their existence be denied? Avoidance will only take you so far before the associated thoughts and feelings catch up with you.
Sadness should be normalized as a human experience. Not only do you have a right to feel sad, but there are times when sadness is completely appropriate. You can also learn and grow from it. The problem is not the emotion itself, but the extent to which it affects your daily life. Sadness is a temporary state of decreased mood in response to an upsetting situation. By acknowledging, processing, and learning how to cope with moments of sadness, you are reducing your vulnerability to depression. By definition, depression or major depressive disorder is the persistent presence (at least two weeks) of multiple symptoms that significantly affect the way you feel, think, and behave, resulting in changes in your daily functioning. Symptoms of depression include feeling sad, decreased interest in pleasurable activities, sleep and/or appetite disturbance, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, decreased energy or increased fatigue, cognitive dysfunction (e.g., difficulty concentrating), and recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.
What should you do when you feel sad?
· Know that it is okay to feel sad. Acknowledge your sadness and the event that led to it. Denying your feelings does not make them go away, and can actually cause future problems, including emotional and physical health concerns.
· Express your emotions in a safe and adaptive way. Talk to a friend, write in a journal, pray, sing, dance, or cry.
· Do something fun and/or relaxing. Watch a comedy, take a warm bath, read a book, meditate, or hang out with friends. Any safe activity is worth trying. If you are having trouble thinking of an activity, a quick internet search will produce numerous lists detailing safe coping strategies. Avoid long periods of isolation and self-medicating with drugs and/or alcohol (www.americanadditioncenters.org/adult-addiction-treatment-programs/self-medicating).
· Eat well, move, and sleep. Healthful food and physical activity and good sleep hygiene (www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/sleep-hygiene) can help improve and maintain a more positive mood.
· Monitor how you feel. If you notice that your feelings of sadness are not improving or are negatively affecting your ability to function at home, school/work, or in your community, seek help. If you are concerned that your sadness may actually be depression, seek help. Do not feel shame or embarrassment.
The key is to remember that sadness is a normal part of life, that is temporary and can be managed. Admit to yourself, and if necessary, others, that you feel sad. Think about the situation that caused the sadness and what it and your feelings mean to you. Safely express your emotions and stay engaged with yourself and others. Lastly, remain aware of changes in your thoughts, mood, and behavior that may suggest you need professional support and do not be afraid or hesitant to find mental health resources.
Disclaimer: This article is informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. For specific or unremitting concerns, consult with a mental health professional. If you are having a mental health emergency call your doctor, 911, or go to your local emergency room.
The National Suicide Prevention Line is 1–800–273–TALK (8255).
